i am back, back again, here i am, trying to write a silly little song to get my fingers moving in this white and slightly off grey background of my obsidian. v0.14.15, apparently. this is a very messy and underutilized obsidian repository, i’m sorry, but i am back! uni for the semester is done, and i have no plans other than continuing what i’ve planned for the organization (not that many stuff), therefore i have time to Think and Write Stuff! maybe. hopefully.

met up with Amir and Jati last saturday at a new place that had immaculate bootstrap mafia vibe and there i “discussed” a few topics. discussed with air-quotes because it was more me blurting out some theories i had been tinkering in my head from discussion that i had from my internalized twitter friends about things that are going on in life. there jati told me that the things i talked about was worth at least a written post and i find it strange to see the many, many barriers to writing i have put up for myself. things like wanting to use proper writing cadence that i’ve built up during my first year at boe (proper referencing, good arguments, etc etc), wanting to have things that emotionally resonate strongly with me (that end of 2020 article that hurts a lot), or just you know write complete thoughts.

in the spirit of actually doing shit and reclaiming my agency in doing things again, i will now be listing off a few of the things that i have in my head that i remember at the time of this writing with the hope that before the semester starts i would have at least written a paragraph about all of them that i will link back here. thoughts are in no particular order of importance or interestingness but just arbitrary me remembering them are:

• there are four routes of power that is available in indonesia. military, paramilitary, academia, religion. they work by different rules, have entirely different worlds with different secondary markets, and they all contribute and are necessary to “control” if you want to be in a position of power
• there is massive alpha in not giving a fuck about the capital (i.e. jakarta) and playing the game of being a regional king
• one of the biggest tension in discussions are between the individual pov and the systemic pov (cue that “the tech industry increases equality” thread that was trending a few weeks ago)
• the previous thought but it’s actually everything and that a difference in scale (or maybe magnitudes) creates massively different games (example would be in physics with quantum physics vs planetal physics)
• indonesia was never colonized (lmao i have had this as a writing idea for AGES)
• vtubers are great (i love kobo)
• something about gender relations idk i had thoughts about this iirc but i dont remember what it was and what the argument was it was something along the line of sub-dom|alpha-omega is the transhumanist future of gender dichotomy

other than that, there is also a list of thoughts about education that i want to pour out, one bit as part of river’s (@the_wilderless) manifesto month but also as a proof of work for my friends over at the education sector that i hope might be enough of a thing that they’ll give me something to work on that i can earn money while i jump around and find something that actually works, few thoughts includes:

• there is no revolutionizing education without changing our society at it’s very core because both of the political spectrum have the exact same way of looking at education. in short, our education system is an even more fundamental part of modernity compared to ideology
• is… the optimal school… the most balanced form of education between mass industrialized education and personalized learning? proceedings of recreating school from first principles.
• personalized education is a done solved deal. now it’s to figure out how to be a good human.
• massive scale education in indonesia is a fuck mostly because we’re way too big, we’re way too diverse, and we’re way too fucking unequal
• doompoasting: education cannot be made unless you have a good idea of what the future looks like, and we are at an impasse of the unknown that makes it hard for me to commit to any future. techno-singularity? ww3? biochemical covid electric boogaloo?
• ki hajar dewantara was a man of his time and people should both read more of his works and less of his works because god damn his own shit didn’t really work but he got good stuff i think idk havent finished reading his stuff

most of these are not one articles, probably gonna have to cut most of them into two or three, maybe more (especially number 3 and 4 since those requires a lot of exploration), but i want to at least get something down for the first one before the next moon (24th iirc), and at least something written about number 5 before uni starts next semester because i wanna know if any of my seniors have any thoughts about it as well that is not just have faith that the future is going to be okay.

gonna be hard, writing muscles are VERY SORE and VERY UNDERUTILIZED, and i have high expectations that my writings will be good. therefore, the best way to fight it is to just write more and write shit until it’s good. thinking about writing the education post in indonesian which is DAUNTING and VERY SCARY, and also creating like a python script that randomly takes a picture from somewhere and put excerpts of my writing on top of it so that i can post it on my instagram story so that i can get more eyes on it as well.

lots of thoughts. wanna refactor and rework my website as well to be more clear, wanna start sewing that apron for the cosplay i wanna do, wanna go on dates, wanna do this, that, all of it.

one step at a time.
let’s regain my agency back.