A continuation of 0002 – i don’t know what good education is anymore.
I thought a thousand words would be enough to pour out about my gripes about my inability to see what good education is, but no. It’s too much in my brain. I care too much about education to not write more.
If the first one was me trying to underline what problems I have, this one is more emotional of note. Because being good at talking about education have always been my thing and it is strange to not be able to do that anymore. It’s not as if I’ve became dumber, or that I’ve lost the ability to articulate what I’ve already articulated. Heck, I would say that my analysis have became way sharper, I could articulate what I have in my head in much clearer words, with a much better bigger picture than before, but maybe that’s the problem. I have zoomed out too much, I have deconstructed too much, while at the same time losing direction of what I want to build with these deconstructed blocks.
Gonna chalk this up to the pandemic ruining everything in my life™, but I’ve lost track of what to do in the world because everything seems so meaningless but also so meaningful and therefore I should just do what’s fun but that doesn’t solve real problems because what is fun isn’t necessarily creating the big changes that I think I should be creating. Helping correct and show the path toward a (what I think) is a much better education system was me trying to find something to be my legacy. Being highly disconnected from the world for two years severed that connection, that need to leave a legacy in the world. To transcend death. I have lost connection to the world, put nicely in this tweet by Amir.
That loss of connection can be rectified. That’s what 2022 is supposed to be. A collapsing of optionality, but also a time to reroot myself in the world. Then what? What do I do with this information? Well… I don’t know. I really don’t know. I’m going to write here what I think I could do though.
Meet and Talk to People Again
The first one is that I should probably meet people again. Friends from the alternative education scene, who have not distanced them self from reality the way I did. The seniors who have been through a lot, who have put their blood, sweat, and tears in order to help those in need through education. I need to meet with Pakde Susilo and Uwa Ibe from Sanggar Anak Akar, meet up with Tante Ira, Tante Qory, Tante Anyi, and other friends from Jaringan Pendidikan Alternatif, talk with the few similar aged friends (5-8 years older than I am) in the education sector like Kak Nisa, Mas Barry, and Kak Gita.
Get Gritty In The Details
Talk to them, get to know what problems they’re facing, what’s the real tangible doable things that could be done to help them in the here and now. Too much big picture thinking is useless unless they are filled with enough details to be properly implemented. Yes, education is such a big problem that you will get lost in the details, but having good practical data about the state of things is important for you to have nuance in your discussions.
Note: constraint and imagination is the biggest problem of any form of implementation, education included.
Help People With Their Problems
This one is a bit harder, because a lot of people don’t know what their problems is, and therefore it is hard to help them. But, that doesn’t mean that I should stop trying. I don’t really know what sort of help I could give to people anymore, mostly due to me not knowing what other people’s problem are anymore, but that should be covered by the first thing I need to do. A few things that came to mind: teaching people how to navigate the internet for knowledge, inquiring with them about what they want in life (doesn’t help that I don’t have myself as proof anymore, but the technique I use has been proven useful before), mentoring younger people on things I know I have a decent enough eyes in (design, writing, talking), getting parents to understand what’s possible in the future, and just good old plain teaching things.
It’s not perfect, I don’t like a lot of these because they exacerbate the status quo, but maybe I was too idealistic and I need to accept some ideological losses for some future gains.
Write. More.
And finally, writing more. Instead of just waggling my fingers saying “oh yeah I have SOOOO many thoughts about education”, I should just show that I do have them. Built a robust proof of work to show my thinking in education. Write reviews about books and thoughts that resonate with people. Write speculative fictions of how we could implement education systems and what the tail end of that implementation could be like. Write down curriculums that YOU want to implement if given the chance. Write policy briefs like all those consulting people do. Write poetry to show your feelings. Write. Write. Write.
At least for the moment, I should spend more time writing. Show the world the things that are in my head. Signal to the world that I have value. Not for when you are strong, for when you are capable of showing it, but for when you are not strong. For when you are lost once again. As a fortress. A cathedral. Bring the mind palace to reality. If not a real palace just yet, then at the very least, a palace of words where your thoughts are the bricks that forms the wonderous proof of your existence. Not to proof for others, but for yourself when you are not yourself.